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Posted:3/5/2012 10:35:35 AM
One thing is for certain captainjazzles we all come from somewhere, maybe on rare ocassion our prebirth past worms it way into our memory. Or maybr we're 'remembering' our future, wouldn't that be nice, Crazer

Posted:2/27/2012 5:36:37 PM
Yeah it seems the thing that makes us odd links us to some state of being that transcends logic, time and mortality. Once I had what felt like a memory but it was hidden behind a mist, I could not see it but I could surely feel it. It was a world in which everyone was so empathetically linked that we knew each other as closely as we knew ourselves, the walls were gone leaving nothing but blended automnomy. We just knew each other. All was peace no pain no lies just flawless harmony. It miss it, even though I can not name it. Maybe it is still out there waiting to welcome us home, sure hope so Ray.

Posted:2/25/2012 12:28:09 AM
Strange how ordinary things can stimulate the brain or the memory. I remember one day when my parents left me and my twin sister at our great aunt and uncle's house while they went shopping,(we were toddlers and could not be left alone), anyway they brought us back a toy each. I forget what my sister got but they gave me a toy ray gun, it was just a tin friction devise, you pull the trigger and sparks fly out the barrel basically a lighter without lighter fluid so no flame.
I took one look at it, turned my head and rolled my eyes, thinking this is just a toy, at that moment blueprints for a real ray gun appeared in my mind. In that moment I wasn't a little kid but a grown man assessing the quaintness of the fifties.
Sometimes I feel I must have been time traveling in my own mind- looking at one moment of time from the perspective of another. It's like I am an amnesiac remember bits and pieces of a long forgotten past in a most random order. Anyone else ever feel that way? Another time my mother was reading Bible stories to us out a children story book, one my my sweetest memories of her.
I saw a drawing of a mother and her two young daughters about to walk down a long road that led a distant city, fear for them suddenly gripped my heart as I felt a benevolent presence draw up beside me. The picture came to life as we started yelling to them to not go to that city, that it was going to destroyed, but they wouldn't listen, they were dressed in rags and determined to go there to buy new clothes, just then a horizontal line appeared under the picture with a vertical line protruding from its center. I knew I was looking at the symbol for time, then a concept came to to me as a phrase popped into my head-'time is incidental'and I went back to being little again. That's my childhood- spontaneous oddness.
Ray (Crazer)

Posted:2/23/2012 1:33:42 PM
Wow, now I'm a bit jealous, not that I haven't had my share incredible dreams, but I've never dreamed a whole life time much less one spent in such an extremely altered state of being.
I'm impressed and so happy we can share our experiences so openly, which is, I think, the whole point of this site.
Listening to 'regular' people talk about their past their childhood and not hearing the slightest hint of otherworldliness always makes me want to shrink into a corner, fearing some one will ask me about my childhood knowing I dare not talk honestly about my past, it makes me feel so dishonest.
Most 'regular' people don't want to hear anything that shakes their own comfortable understanding of reality, can't blame them, but I can't really relate to them either. I guess we all want family, people we can be ourselves with-a place to belong-home, but when you're not sure what you really are it makes so difficult and so alienating.
I am so glad I found this site, I was hoping there would be others out there like me- others whose past just doesn't makes sense or fit into this world.
Something as personal as a childhood should be a source of comfort perspective and identity not insecurity and deep seated doubt of one's sanity.
Clearly we are able to tap into more reality than most, that's the simpest way I can define it, where that reality takes us is I'm sure out there waiting for us, can't wait to get there!
Every time I let myself embrace my weird past I can't help but feel like I'm turning toward home so finding others like me 'here' is profoundly comforting.
I'm so glad I made your day, you have certainly made mine.
Look forward to hearing from you, Ray

Posted:2/23/2012 12:04:37 AM
Hi Renn, this is Ray(crazer)how refreshing to hear a non experiencer express such interest in the paranormal rather than disdain. I've had paranormal experiences all my life some of them quite harrowing others more wonderful then I can describe, so I know where my interest comes from. I'm surprized you even care about something you've never went through, I'm impressed and grateful for your openess. Skeptism is so easy when you've never touched the unknown but you're not taking the easy road, that is very fair minded of you. Ray

Posted:2/22/2012 11:51:46 PM
I appreciate that, it certainly helps to let go of some this, but in letting go I am actually embracing it, just wish I knew what it is.
Just last month I was sitting in my break room at work, I wasn't napping but I was quite relaxed, any way I was leaning against a concrete block wall, my eyes were shut so I couldn't see anything, a hand gently clasped my left shoulder, startled I looked up and all around and saw no one, but the hand clasp was completely real, oddly comforting and came from behind me through the concrete wall?
I tell ya' sometimes I feel like something out there is really jerking my chain.
Back in the seventies I was driving to work, no one was on the road it was early the sky was black. I came around a curve and was driving past a stand of trees and from the corner of my right eye I saw four white spheres about the size of full moons silenty sliding over the treetops like a string of giant white pearls. I slowed down, turned my head to see better and as I did the third sphere from the end dropped out of formation and literally sank out sight, while the remaining three spheres curved forward around in front of me until they were behind me. I thought when I get to work surely someone else would have seen this, because the were so big and slow, if they say they saw them then I'll chime right in and say yeah I saw them too, but when I got to work I heard nothing about Ufo's so I said nothing, years later in 1979 I was walking down a dirt path behind my house looked up and saw a single greenish black sphere about the size of a car sliding just above the treetops probably about a quarter mile away, frustrated I looked away tried to make myself not see it looked back up and saw that is was still gliding merrily long, I thouat to it called to it with my mind asked it to land in the field so we could just talk and I could say hello get some answers, get something -anything it just slid up into the deep blue sky and disappeared into a massive cloud bank, and so it goes something so real yet so illusive. Thanks for reading maybe we can all get some answers someday, Ray(crazer)

Posted:2/22/2012 4:07:36 PM
No spooky1 I don't think I'm psychic, at least not in the sense I can controll any kind of other worldly events, but then I've never tried. Thing is I'm not sure what I am, I've been questioning my sanity and humanity since I was a little kid and from listening to other people talk about their early childhood I don't think I've ever been that innocent or ignorant. It is as if I've never been a child, I remember very clearly not having words in my head, in that sense I was a child but deep knowledge concepts fundamental truths have it seems always been tucked away in the back of my mind.
And no I can't pickup on things at will. Things abnormal just happen then go away. I hope that answers your question. There has been so many things I hate to tell them all, it all sounds so made up Ray.

Posted:2/22/2012 2:22:50 PM
Well the first time I saw an atomic explosion on TV ofcourse, (I was about three or four years old,) I turned my head to hide a my smirk. It struck me as so weak and quaint, I remember thinking "They think that's a bomb!" I was only a little kid but I knew exactly what I was looking at and was still quite unimpressed. My only fear was that someone migt see me smirking and I'd give myself away.
I knew full well my reaction was completely inappropiate so I hid it. I don't know what this means only what it feels like Ray.

Posted:2/21/2012 1:45:36 PM
Glad you enjoyed reading my account. It seems my childhood was full them some more visual than others but quite encompassing.
There were times when I had an overwhelming sense of belonging somewhere else -some place far away from Earth, that my people my kind were out there somewhere at that place. I yearned to get to them but ofcourse could not. That yearning eventually became an inner vision, that felt like a memory of a certain quality of light which I tried to replicate behind my house using the setting sun and a bunch of boards I found laying around. I called it an ambiance chamber. As the rays of sunlight filtered in between the carefully arranged planks and the feeling of yearning and familarity grew I could sense a portal opening nearby but could never quite find it. Years later when I was at work while standing beneath an overhead light I sensed the portal directly behind me but could not bring myself to step back, maybe I was afraid my time had passed or maybe I figured it was just a delusion anyway I'm still here waiting. Thanks for reading Ray (crazer)



Posted:2/21/2012 1:44:23 PM
Hi NZdreammaker, this is crazer, hope you're doing well. I've never participated in a seance, never really wanted to never really needed to. I've seen them on TV shows and movies, but choosing to channel spirit world entities is something I think I've already done. This is going to sound really bad and it troubles me to this day but I'm certain that other presences have been inside my mind on at least two different occassions,(the second one is simply too dark to share right now).
Once when I was about four years old I was in my house looking out a back window that happened to be made of cheap distorted glass. I had looked through the glass before so its distortion was nothing new to me, but this time there was a strong thunderstorm building and my father was outside covering our tractors exhaust pipe, it looked like the end of the world. While I was taking it all in a child's voice starting screaming inside my head, "Not now not already!" It was not my voice, not my thoughts. It was not me and I knew it was not really a child, but I could not help but feel pity for it. Its sense of doom and dread broke my heart even I realized this presence was not human or harmless. It faded away but not from my memory. Like I said something similar happened earlier but its just too personal and scary to go into right now, maybe later. I just don't want to drive anyway from me. Its just so nice to share. Ray(crazer)