Anybody been rescued and if so can you help me?

I grew up around nuclear weapons at Luke and Whiteman AFB's during the Cuban Missle Crisis, though I did not serve in the military the great amount of stress involved created chronic depression and panic disorder. Even with antidepressants and many years of counceling I feel there is no hope of my life creating anything but the twilight zone like nightmarish days that I wake up to, EVERY day!  Imagine waking up every day and you literally  feel as if you are living in the Twight Zone!

What a sad world it is when the police are looking for chicken killers. ITS A CHICKEN NOT A BABY SEAL! What they need to be looking for are people that sell "chicken nuggets" when there is no such thing and they charge a lot of money for deep fried chicken waste products.Do you suppose the guy had to tear the chicken heads off cause someone stole his politically correct chick killer or he could'nt afford one due to the regulating of  weapons of mass destruction. Of couse since aliens don't have teeth chewing off a chicken head would be excruciating. I hear Greenpeace are after these chicken killing aliens but they can't build a boat fast enough. But I hear they are working on hypersonic t-shirt launchers with t-shirts that say "Shame on you you vertically challenged non-earthlings who think you're so much smarter than us, as you know chickens are much tastier when they are alive! YUM!"

I know one thing that has been real over the ages, Spam can be molded to look like aliens or UFOs. The empty cans when thrown in the air  and photographed look much like Starfleet shuttlecraft. I should know, I purchased an actual Phaser permit at a convention. Spam has an interesting crackling effect when you shoot it on the Spam setting which is between  popcorn and donut frosting.

I'm certain its my grandfathers Winnebago after the brakes failed and crashed into Waffle House #14. Its a family legend. A mile away you'll find and adobe hut with some really old coffee in a 19th century coffee pot.

If its reflexes aren't faster than a hummingbird i'm not impressed. Toppling over lawn furniture would be one intoxicated alien.

Planet X is an urban legend that proves itself true every time a video shows up with a fireball that lights up the sky. Unfortunately "Planet X" can easily be as small as 5 miles. The planet part seems irrelevent.