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Strange childhood and infant memory


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crazer   posted:2/6/2012 11:56:06 AM  (Reply)
Hi I'm Ray(crazer)and I wonder if I'm the only one who has clear infant memories or have had a near birth outer of body experience?
I only have one infant memory but it is a doozy. I remember laying on my back staring at the ceiling too weak to move and bored out of my gourd. I didn't even have words in my mind yet, but I did not need them to know I really wanted something different to look at.
Not knowing any better I let my mind relax and inadvertantly released my consciousness. Suddenly I was looking down on my room from the ceiling, but I didn't notice my crib or my body, wish I had. What I did see something I was not meant to see;sliding and curling under my window frame and door was a snake like black vapor undulating across the floor slowly filling my room.
I was overwhelmed by its filthiness. It was as if raw black smoke like sewage had come to life, developed a will and had set out to fulfill some terrible purpose.
Because of it my first emotion was not love but dread, dread so profound that I whited out, that is everything went white.
It was then I began to questioned my sanity and even my humanity, heavy stuff for an innocent little kid
Well that is my first paranormal experience there were many more to come and they are still coming.
spiritech0   posted:2/6/2012 12:31:53 PM  (Reply)
How old were you, cRAYzer? And how would you describe your perception on human existence at this moment?
crazer   posted:2/6/2012 12:51:50 PM  (Reply)
I was a baby and like I wrote I only have the one infant memory, but a few years later when I was three or fours years old I frequently had to remind myself to act my age. For example when I saw an old news reel of the first atomic explosion on TV which was by the way a brand new black and white Airliner(thats how old I am)I thought to myself they think thats a bomb.I thought it was cute even quaint; totally inappropriate thoughts for a small child and I knew it!
It was as if I was out of sync with this world and its history. It seems I was always trying to pass for normal when I knew full well that I was not. I always felt like an old man sometimes even ancient, tired and world weary. But then my Mom would call and it was back to being a baby again. Like I said I had a strange childhood.
Somtimes Mama would even call me her little old man, and I'd wonder If I had let something slip.
Hope this doesn't freak you out and I promise I'm not making anything up, just trying to share and maybe find some like souls, Ray.
crazer   posted:2/7/2012 1:03:52 AM  (Reply)
Sorry didn't read your reply as well as I should have, at this moment I simply know there is so much more to being alive than our typical point of view will allow us to see. I feel rather sorry for people who have never had a brush with the rest of reality.
Sometimes I feel like a man walking on the seashore looking out over the ocean waiting for a glimpse of what lives beneath its glassy waves to break the surface and tease me with its strangness, waxing poetic, I do that sometimes. Any way thank for your interest. Ray
spooky1   posted:2/7/2012 3:14:36 PM  (Reply)

In Reply To:
crazer  posted:2/7/2012 1:03:52 AM  (Reply)
Sorry didn't read your reply as well as I should have, at this moment I simply know there is so much more to being alive than our typical point of view will allow us to see. I feel rather sorry for people who have never had a brush with the rest of reality.
Sometimes I feel like a man walking on the seashore looking out over the ocean waiting for a glimpse of what lives beneath its glassy waves to break the surface and tease me with its strangness, waxing poetic, I do that sometimes. Any way thank for your interest. Ray
I was once told by a councilor that I have " an old soul" I always wounded what that meant..
lauralisabeth   posted:2/7/2012 6:44:00 PM  (Reply)
Crazer, I find what you said very interesting and can somehow relate. I remember before i was born, kinda weird but I do. All I remember is darkness. No thoughts either, just pure darkness.
Also, when I was younger(probably 6) I would sometimes sob uncontrollably. I was always alone in my bed about to go to sleep. I would randomly cry and stress about life and repeatedly ask myself what is my purpose in life, wonder what life is, and wonder why i was here. I have always thought that I am thinking things that I should not for my age.
Maybe my experiences are normal. I am not sure, i never talk to anyone about these things.
crazer   posted:2/8/2012 1:29:33 AM  (Reply)
Wow,Lauralisabeth I can't remember that far back, probably a good thing since I have a twin sister, maybe thats why I don't like crowds, anyway,sorry you're childhood was marred with such sadness. Weird is bad enough but sobbing sadness at such an early age that really sucks.
I actually have a darkness memory but it is anything but sad. I remember being so profoundly connected with everyone in the world(not Earth though)but a place of global empathy where everyone knew each other so deeply so honestly that we shared a common presence that enabled us to be everywhere at the same time, distance was a myth thay simply did not exist there. I felt(remembered) that wonderful deep seated commonality for a brief moment it was behind a curtain of darkness that I was grateful for because just remembering that narcotic feeling of connection made this world feel so sterile and isolated that actually seeing that wonderful hidden place would only make me ache for it more. In any case that was then and there not here and now. Like it or not, we all have to live where we are. Thanks for sharing such a painful memory hope I was able to make you feel better. I will be looking forward to your posts, Ray.
crazer   posted:2/8/2012 2:12:54 AM  (Reply)

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spooky1  posted:2/7/2012 3:14:36 PM  (Reply)
I was once told by a councilor that I have " an old soul" I always wounded what that meant..
I guess it means your inside is much older than your outside. I am certain that we are all so much more than what we appear to be-older and deeper, that our souls, our inner selves, who we truly are are bound to the past and the future in wonderful ways we can't yet grasp. Ray
spiritech0   posted:2/8/2012 10:38:51 AM  (Reply)

In Reply To:
crazer  posted:2/7/2012 1:03:52 AM  (Reply)
Sorry didn't read your reply as well as I should have, at this moment I simply know there is so much more to being alive than our typical point of view will allow us to see. I feel rather sorry for people who have never had a brush with the rest of reality.
Sometimes I feel like a man walking on the seashore looking out over the ocean waiting for a glimpse of what lives beneath its glassy waves to break the surface and tease me with its strangness, waxing poetic, I do that sometimes. Any way thank for your interest. Ray
Thank you for sharing honestly, cRAYzer. Remember that you also have the option go Jacques-Yves Cousteau on that ocean. We all do. Ever onward, sir.
spooky1   posted:2/9/2012 6:57:28 AM  (Reply)

In Reply To:
crazer  posted:2/8/2012 2:12:54 AM  (Reply)
I guess it means your inside is much older than your outside. I am certain that we are all so much more than what we appear to be-older and deeper, that our souls, our inner selves, who we truly are are bound to the past and the future in wonderful ways we can't yet grasp. Ray
Thank, crazed & awesome topic
wvboarder   posted:2/9/2012 10:32:03 AM  (Reply)
I never had an OBE as a child but I do have a first memory that has haunted me my entire life. Id appreciate ANY imput. When I was about 2-3 months old I remember being taken to a hospital and in a room with a round shaped machine in the middle. I was put in it. There were screens lined in every direction and all I remember was blurs of colors , lots of different music and noises in the background and every screen was rapidly showing information in an ultra fast rate. I know its not a dream because every time id bring it up with my parents theyd change the subject and try and distract me until I finally gave up. Has anyone else had this experience or know what it was or its purpose. My dad works for the government so thats even more offputting IMO. Thanks
crazer   posted:2/9/2012 10:43:39 AM  (Reply)
Can't say I remember anything like that 'wwboarder', have you had any other strange memories or odd occurances in your life?
crazer   posted:2/9/2012 10:55:54 AM  (Reply)
I know as a child I always had an intense feeling of belonging somewhere else. I remember being awakened before sunrise and upon noticing that it was still black outside I was overcome with joy and profound relief. For a brief moment I thought I was on 'our ship' heading home.
I assumed since it was morning but it was still dark out that we must be in space, that we were on ship time, that there was no sunrise so ofcourse it was still dark out.
I could not have been more than five years old at the time, probably younger. How could I know about such things and why was I overcome with such relief and joy? How many more of us have inexplicable childhood memories? If you have any other peculiar tid bits from your past wwboarder feel free to share. Ray(crazer)
breeld   posted:2/9/2012 11:54:37 AM  (Reply)
This thread just keeps getting more and more interesting.
crazer   posted:2/9/2012 12:22:54 PM  (Reply)
Hi breeld, yeah you're right but I fear some folks might come to think I am embellishing or making things up because my experiences have been so bizarre, wide ranging, numerous, and as it turns out, on going.
I' ve started quite literaly at the beginning and have much more to share. I just don't want to hog the posting board. Thank you for your acceptance. I'll try not to abuse it. Ray
Daehgems   posted:2/9/2012 12:46:11 PM  (Reply)

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crazer  posted:2/9/2012 12:22:54 PM  (Reply)
Hi breeld, yeah you're right but I fear some folks might come to think I am embellishing or making things up because my experiences have been so bizarre, wide ranging, numerous, and as it turns out, on going.
I' ve started quite literaly at the beginning and have much more to share. I just don't want to hog the posting board. Thank you for your acceptance. I'll try not to abuse it. Ray
I personally wouldn't mind if you hogged the posting board. Your stories are amazing.

Have you thought about blogging about your experiences?
Daehgems   posted:2/9/2012 12:47:14 PM  (Reply)

In Reply To:
wvboarder  posted:2/9/2012 10:32:03 AM  (Reply)
I never had an OBE as a child but I do have a first memory that has haunted me my entire life. Id appreciate ANY imput. When I was about 2-3 months old I remember being taken to a hospital and in a room with a round shaped machine in the middle. I was put in it. There were screens lined in every direction and all I remember was blurs of colors , lots of different music and noises in the background and every screen was rapidly showing information in an ultra fast rate. I know its not a dream because every time id bring it up with my parents theyd change the subject and try and distract me until I finally gave up. Has anyone else had this experience or know what it was or its purpose. My dad works for the government so thats even more offputting IMO. Thanks
That's crazy. I wonder if they'll ever tell you what happened, or if you'll never know.
jaguarsky   posted:2/9/2012 1:15:50 PM  (Reply)
My first 'different' childhood memory was of sitting a small classroom with several other children. We were sitting on benches instead of at desks. At the front of the room there was a device that reminded me of an old free-standing black board. And there was a teacher. She seemed to be dressed appropriately although to my mind her clothing seemed a bit odd. She was of average height, was very pale and had really black hair of about shoulder length. She was teaching us about reincarnation and how we are all connected to a greater all. I think I was about 3 when I had this experience.

Needless to say it struck absolute horror into my fundie parents (adoptive) when at the funeral for my young nephew a few months later I tried to comfort the family by explaining reincarnation to them and that my nephew was not "gone", he was just going to be changed and return at a later time. The preist was not very pleased either.
breeld   posted:2/9/2012 5:34:07 PM  (Reply)

In Reply To:
crazer  posted:2/9/2012 12:22:54 PM  (Reply)
Hi breeld, yeah you're right but I fear some folks might come to think I am embellishing or making things up because my experiences have been so bizarre, wide ranging, numerous, and as it turns out, on going.
I' ve started quite literaly at the beginning and have much more to share. I just don't want to hog the posting board. Thank you for your acceptance. I'll try not to abuse it. Ray
Please HOG! I want to hear more.
breeld   posted:2/9/2012 5:38:18 PM  (Reply)

Needless to say it struck absolute horror into my fundie parents (adoptive) when at the funeral for my young nephew a few months later I tried to comfort the family by explaining reincarnation to them and that my nephew was not "gone", he was just going to be changed and return at a later time. The preist was not very pleased either.

LOL Jaguarsky, that was funny. Just reminded me of my up-bringing, and if I`d said something like that, they`d have been doing an exorcism on me.


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