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The Fear of Falling


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Bear Hogan    posted:3/3/2013 6:05:58 PM  (Reply)
I was with the 75th Ranger Regiment 2nd PTLN 3rd squad leader. In other words we were dropped of in some heavy mess to put it lightly. Being dropped off by a Black Hawk Helicopter is not the most enjoyable thing in the world but that is how we were " luckily " placed in out particular spot. When we met up with some other ground squads they had already taken fire and had a few people badly hurt or killed in action just seconds before we showed our ugly,sandy mugs trying to do the best we could to slow things down a little. I took my men and put them in what we called old fashioned V formation and plugged along until we reached about a hundred kilometers in front of the men that had already been fighting. I remember seeing a ditch to my right but did not think to make sure it was safe as the guys usually were good about staying were they were supposed to. Little did I know, I would be the unlucky one to experience the wrath of that ugly ditch soon to come.
We approached a few Hum-V's and started digging " Hasty's " or basically horizontal fox holes to lay in. The thing was though, it was way to quite. I mean cricket noise kind of quite as I remember when I camped a lot growing up. I would like to say that is a good thing but not there, nope not in the out skirts of Kabul, one of the biggest cities and the capitol of Afghanistan. Off in the distance I heard something click. The guys said after making them stop "man you did to many drugs before you enlisted" joking around as they mistakenly told them about my long haired hippy,Phishhead days of the mid to late ninety's. Before we could come close to getting the hasty's dug all hell broke loose and I got everyone together behind those Hummers as quickly as I could. I knew it was serious when a RPG went flying over my head so we started firing rapidly at ...well whatever we could honestly. Then the bullets started hitting the Jeeps and I was thinking about spreading out some guys to a near by hill about fifty kilometers to our west. Before I made the command I popped my head up and looked around when right then a whiz went by my cover (helmet) and I jumped back. When I stepped back about three feet I remember some of my guys yelling " Hogan no, shit! I then remember the feeling of falling for a second or two followed by the most amazingly strange experience I have ever had in my life.
I had a vision that I was in the clouds kind of floating around then something or someone grabbed me and pulled me back down to earth. Glen, my paramedic was yelling, "Sarge, Staff Sarge are you ok!!". Then I went back into a dream state but this time I saw people walking around and above me looking down at me with this stare like, everything is going to be ok. They almost had grins on their faces. I heard mom and pops voices and my older brothers calling out but in the most majestic sound I could imagine. I could hear Indians chanting and could see them doing the spirit of healing dance. Suddenly I went to a place again that was not to familiar that consisted of old relics and a smell of cigar smoke also to see people walking around with grins on their faces. Next I saw a white, and no not a white light but a lady that was dressed in white holding out her hand and I did not hesitate to grab it. She had a glow to her that was well nothing I have ever seen before. We went down some steps and I remember continuously asking, were are we, were are we going? To my demise no answer was told to me by this woman and it did not need to because as we got to the bottom of the steps we stopped and I could see my body on the ground and my guys around me. One or two of them had been shot and were laying in obvious positions in the ditch that made it clear they were not in body anymore. I saw them working on my back and head. My head was swelled up like a balloon and little did I know I had flat lined two times. I called out to them and they could not hear me. Then I started getting scared. The lady in white was right there the whole time though and did not let me get to overly emotional, however she did it. I remember saying I don't really feel like seeing myself die and then I heard children playing in the distance. We started walking again and after a few steps we came to a swing set. My best friends were all there playing around me as we did when I was growing up. They all were so so happy and I felt the same and suddenly felt safe then again I was pulled down. When I dropped down again and could only see dirt and blood from some of the guys that had gotten majorly injured or killed. Specialist Glen was still right over me and I remember him saying, "I hope this freakin morphine does not kill him. Look at his head Gonzales!!",one of the younger Rangers in the squad. "He needs a medivac and quick!". Things after that were in and out but remembering anything like what I just told for the first time to anyone was hard to remember. Bits and pieces come to me in dreams and during the day on occasion but nothing major. I ended up getting medically chaptered out of the Army and feel like things happened for a reason but look out ....there could be more to come. Thanks for reading !!
breeld   posted:3/3/2013 7:19:11 PM  (Reply)
That`s very interesting. I just finished reading a book on a near death experience. There`s gotta be something to that. I`m so sorry for what you endured in service.
Marilyn Borst   posted:3/3/2013 7:32:27 PM  (Reply)
al interesting - i've never had a near death experience my self - but well writtened & you been through alot -
Jaxerback   posted:3/3/2013 9:51:56 PM  (Reply)
wow mind blowing stuff..do you ever dream that you are flying in your dreams?
bobprin   posted:3/4/2013 8:03:49 AM  (Reply)
Congratulations on surviving your ordeal, and thank you for your service.
Bear Hogan    posted:3/5/2013 6:17:30 AM  (Reply)
Thanks for the comments ...I did not get to stay in as long as I wanted to make it good to read !!!
gary107   posted:3/5/2013 10:50:44 AM  (Reply)
I understand that our American government will not use the Russian tech that suppresses cell phones in movie theaters down in TJ. Those IDEs are detonated by cell phone technology. Allowing our troops to be killed in order not to give royalties to the Russians is just wrong. Our government is strange sometimes. Had that floating out of body experience when I was sick as a young child, looking down and seeing others moving about in the room. Did not see a woman in white. That you see them with grins seem to mean everything will be o.k., at least in your case. Sad about the others.
gary107   posted:3/6/2013 1:54:28 AM  (Reply)
The Royal Irish Guards leaving for Iraq 2007

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tsF6B-ZiuM

St. Patrick was the Bishop of Ulster, first Christian bishop [Orthodox Celtic] in Ireland.
gary107   posted:3/6/2013 2:11:03 AM  (Reply)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=HeAgWdqB7Dw&feature=endscreen

I wish we here in San Diego would paid such tribute and remember our many allies.
We did not fight alone.
gary107   posted:3/6/2013 2:27:43 AM  (Reply)
a motorcycle club that protects family members of our fallen from that protesting Baptist group from Kansas. The Patriotic Guard riders, good people.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0eLrKKh7KI
spooky1   posted:3/9/2013 3:37:29 PM  (Reply)
Thank you for ur service .so sorry u had to endure what u did. Very interesting story.


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