Upon Which I Disassociate
Written By: Jeff Behnke
Disassociation is a trait that is often overlooked when trying to grasp the mental make up of those who are interested and appreciate the paranormal. What do I mean by 'disassociation'? It is the ability to leave this reality and go elsewhere in your mind and see things that others are unable to see because they are not looking and are just fine with their monday night football, Fox News reports, and BBQs on the weekend. Those who disassociate, they may try to do these things to feel normal, but they most often fail and have a general sense that something just isn't right with the single channel shown to them as 'the way to live' every day. It is often a depressing feeling, often overwhelming, and they feel lost because things just aren't right in the world. To someone who disassociates, they can feel bitterly and absolutely alone because they just don't fall for the tricks their television sets play on them, teaching us all how to live, how to function, how to respond to others, what to want, and what to feel in a single, global culture.
When you leave this reality through such a mindset, you disappear inside and draw pictures in the cloud-like formations known as your 'life events' and piece them back together as if they were all a part of some grand novel. And once that novel's plot is told in your mind, like a massive Etch A Sketch, you just shake it back and forth, and all of your life events are then able to be reassembled and retold to yourself to form a completely different story. It's so easy. You have no concerns with doing so, no guilt, no sense of losing yourself—to those who disassociate, that is just how this place works—not a world that is set in dust and rock as the TV teaches where there is only one lesson to be told through a theory of everything, but a multi-faceted surface that can be shaken back and forth and understood differently every hour, every day, just like the events of your life.
Those who disassociate are many times abuse victims. Their disassociation was taught to them by the end of a stick. Later, that stick becomes life itself, beating them senselessly into a state where they no longer see this world at all—why bother? But to the gatekeepers, this is wrong, a problem to be corrected, for it is made of but one channel to them—their channel, filled with nothing more than pain and lies given and told to us that we are supposed to accept as truth and love.
Disassociation is seen as a disorder because you cannot accept what other people tell you when you 'should' accept it—you know beyond any doubt that no matter how many sticks are used, the light is still there inside of you, the light is always available like the paint brushes next to your kitchen sink, the pencils next to your journal, always ready to be used to draw new worlds out that are hidden away. Where the world sees nothing but clanging pipes, you can see the demons. Where the world sees poverty brought about through laziness, you see angels.
Don't you see? It is not a disorder at all—it is a gift, and those who have it are often victimized because of it, for if you can see any reality, then you can accept what people say as fact and play along like a child following the Pied Piper. The child wants to see the piper happy, even if the song they hear is shit. This angers the Pied Piper who is trying to convince the world he is playing the most beautiful song ever written. The children are liars! He thinks. So he lashes back, drops his pipe, and pulls out his whip to end the laughter and turn them to tears so they learn the 'way things really are'.
When you disassociate, you see the lies in truth, the truth in lies. As such, you are seen by the piper and the rest of the world as out of balance, someone who must be schooled into obedience to a single truth, a single way, the right way, your way. Certainly these children must understand harmonics and scale! Yes, the children say. Yes, Mr. Piper, we understand. But these children know the piper is swallowed by his own darkness, created by his singular tune--they are merely trying to use their own disassociation to light the way for someone they see as in need: the piper himself.
Those in the paranormal who disassociate, they see a world stuck in its own pure darkness. Those in the paranormal see the pipers piping, smile, and say yes, you are right, there are no UFOs, there are no ghosts, there are no monsters in our closets, all is well—only to laugh madly as forks fly off the counter and stars pick themselves up and fly away at a moment's notice into the night sky. We aren't supposed to notice those other realities, are we? Nay. As such: Swamp gas, sure. Chinese lanterns? No problem. Whatever you say, Mr. Piper. Whatever you say. Please put away your whip.
Where the world looks for what MUST be true, those who disassociate see what CAN be true, and all can be true in a universe made of light. Just look at what can be displayed on your television. Stare at your stacks of DVDs and the possibilities they bring. Why would reality be any different? Why would we, as light workers, be any different? We are all story tellers, and the medium goes above and beyond any single material universe when you disassociate.
So the world can laugh at us and say the only thing on every channel, the only thing all of us could possibly be watching, are CSI reruns--but we know better, don't we? Our minds work with reality just like a remote, and when you attempt to school us by taping down our hands and tying us to a chair, we just have to tilt our heads back, drift away, and draw with our own thoughts, our own lives, again and again. And as all of us know through our own dreams that we experience every single day...the darkness outside of ourselves is no match for our own internal light.
As such, my cruel, singular world, controlled via a monopoly of media empires--I also bring a lesson of my own with this humble, pied pipe: You cannot stop all these other realities from bleeding in, for we, the light workers, are also legion. Call it a disorder all you want, but in a world where everything is under control, disorder is exactly what this place needs, and that is exactly what our disassociation brings. Like your own sticks and whips, consider this one a gift.